No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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