I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
