I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
