I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Randomize
