I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
