Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
