I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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