what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
