maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
