How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
