you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
