the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
