:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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