The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize
