I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
