biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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