He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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