And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
