Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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