we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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