what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
