But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
my liver is dry heaving
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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