Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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