Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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