at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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