I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i dont even know how to be here
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
