happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
