I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
