38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
