tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
