Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
