how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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