I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
