I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
