this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
