Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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