i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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