I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
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