READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
