we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
