I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
