i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
