Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm always down for nudity.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
