I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
