my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
