I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
If its not for food we ain't going out.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
