he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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