I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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