Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
