I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
