Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
