Sponge bath it is.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I need a beard to bite.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
