Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
