Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
vagina is talking i cant
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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